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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

m4 the great battle of kush

     I was walking down the Nile. The Nile had a fresh smell of fish. It was a sunny day and the ground was burning my shoes. when I came to Kush. I walked into the fine golden gates of Kush. I was walking through the town when I came to a market place. It smelled like spice and fresh cut fruit. It sounded like a million people where talking but it was only the chater of the birds I was walking when I saw a peasant. He smell like cow pies and talked like a parakeet. He was tall and thin. I thought I recognized him but I ignored the thought He was asking for money. I gave him a couple gineihs. He thanked me and said I should go to the army headquarters. I new then that he was the person for king tuts palace. I was on my way to the HQ when I saw a enormous alien ship. I was about two stop when I saw to aliens walking from it. I walked to the HQ but the general had said there was a war and the kushites  won,but the general said I could help because their kushite prince was killed and could not find him.
    I  was walking out of the village so I could start looking for the prince when I saw a dog whimpering with a stick on him. I started to morph into a dog.
    "Can you help me said the dog.
     "Yes" I said
     So I got up and patted on over like a beagle and lifted the stick of him. As soon as I lifted the stick off him he turned into the prince himself. I thought a witch or a shaman turned him into a dog
    I picked up the and brought prince's  body back to the city. As soon as I got there everybody called me a hero.

7 comments:

  1. This jumps around too much and it hard to follow.

    The Nile, the market place, an alien ship, the HQ, a dead prince, a village, a city....all in one paragraph???????

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  2. I guess I should edit my posts first. It should say, "...and it is hard to follow."

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Excellent use of sensory detail. Why didn't you use it in M2?

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  5. The use of simile is very well done. You definitely took your time while editing!

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